Lame: The new cool
My last post about how I’m out, loud, and proud as a nerd brought my biggest response to date, which tells me two things. First, it tells me that all of you are also pathetic geeks or proud geeks (which, let’s face it, is pathetic). And second, it tells me that people enjoy it when I admit to being lame.
Why? Because it validates them in being lame, too. It lets people know that they’re not alone, that they are not the only person doing stupid shit. It allows people to unburden their souls and admit to watching Star Trek marathons or to having liked the Spice Girls. You start to realize: I’m not the only person who dances alone to Devo.
Look. Everyone does lame things, but everyone paradoxically tries to be cool and suppresses their lameness in order to project an aura of coolness. But because we’re all lame, what’s lame is really cool and what’s cool is really lame and it’s all just a big shell game.
Yeah.
Think about it for a second: Doing lame stuff makes you cool. Being willing to admit it makes you brave. And everyone loves the brave lame cool guy or gal. Tell people your lamenesses and they’ll scoff, but secretly they’ll be crapping their pants over how cool you are.
So.
The other day I’m at the bookstore, sitting in one of those big comfortable chairs and drinking a latte and reading. And the book I’m reading is Twilight. In case you’ve been living under a rock (I’m looking at you, Patrick Star), the Twilight series is Dawson’s Creek with vampires. The target market is 17-year-old girls. And I know this because as I was reading it, two 17-year-old girls walked by and laughed at me.
I turned to my wife, Robin.
“Is it totally lame for me to be reading this?” I asked her.
She didn’t look up from her magazine. “Almost four o’ clock,” she said.
I’m so cool that my wife doesn’t even pay attention to me. I’m that off-the-charts cool with my comfortable chair and teen fiction and knowledge of calculus that she can’t even relate. I’m so cool that I can’t be in a new environment for two days before my digestive system malfunctions and I get all uncomfortable and gassy. My mom says, “You’re like an old man.” Yeah, I’m that cool.
I’ve read the entire Harry Potter series several times through.
I’d rather stay in than go out, almost without exception.
I get really excited at the prospect of having a new computer.
And… okay, deep breath on the next one.
I watched Sex and the City from beginning to end. And I liked it. And my wife and I went to see the movie. And I liked it. I was literally the only man in the theater. But I have this theory that being willing to admit you like unmanly things actually makes you more manly. Makes chicks dig you more, because you’re sensitive.
So yeah, that’s right. I know that Carrie chose Mr. Big and that in the end, Miranda married Steve. You got a problem with that? Talk to my cool counselor. He’s four, and we have the exact same taste in everything, including SpongeBob SquarePants. And he didn’t introduce me to SpongeBob; I’ve been watching for seven years. Do the math.
So right about now, some of you are wondering what you’ve gotten yourselves into. I thought Johnny was cool, you’re thinking. But that’s your old paradigm. Lame is the new cool. Johnny is cool, but cool isn’t what it used to be.
And if you’re still bothered by my particular breed of new-cool, just keep in mind that most of you know me from forums and Twitter. Since you were there too, and since you’re reading a blog right now, how old-style-cool can you really be? Go to the local high school and ask the football quarterback how many blogs he reads. If he takes a break from having sex with cheerleaders long enough to answer, I’d be willing to bet the answer is less than one.
Admit your lameness and embrace it as your coolness. It’s liberating. The popular kids in high school had their moment, but they peaked and then went downhill. If you never peak, you can never decline, which is exactly why I like punk rock. Not supporting “what’s in” or even “what’s normal” makes you cool-recession-proof. It makes you forever awesome.
And the people who would scoff at your admissions of lameness? They probably already think you’re uncool. Chances are you’re at saturation with them, unable to appear any less cool.
It’s like Mitch Hedburg said about his idea to make EZ Cheez fluorescent: “If you’re willing to eat room-temperature cheese that comes out of a can, you’re probably not going to be mad that it glows in the dark.”
Embrace your lameness, my lame-cool non-IRL friends. It will set you free. Do it now, as part of my…
… wait for it…
SUPER NERD-OFF!
Post your lamenesses to the comments if you want to admit it and see if you can become super-cool. Then tell your friends, and pass them the link to this post. Encourage them to become cool, to try to out-cool you.
The coolest lame story wins a free signed copy of my book, to be decided in one week. Chuck, remind me because I’m so cool I’ll forget.
Note: We’re looking for lame-cool, not lame-creepy. Admitting to obsessing over Hello Kitty cartoons is pushing it.
Now go, nerds. Go!
 
|
Johnny Truant is a writer and
humorist who lives in Ohio with
his wife and two children. His
mission in life is to be happy,
have fun, and laugh as much as
possible. When it dawned on him
that ninety percent of all
newsmedia has as its mission to
keep people as unhappy and
frightened as possible, he
launched this website. 
December 13th, 2008 at 10:05 am
Just read this moments after you tweeted it (+1). It’s one of your best yet, and I know this because we email back and forth (+1) and I’ve read most of your stuff (+1). I also just emailed you with a suggestion for how to make it “viral” (+1), and I’m hoping that you get the message quickly (+1) so that you can increase your comments (+1) on this post.
That’s a (+6) of lamecool demonstrated in this comment. (+1=+7) Okay, 7.
December 13th, 2008 at 10:08 am
I am totally embracing my lameness. I go gooey over those new Cintiq art tablets. Nobody I know knows what a Cintiq is, but I do. Lame, but cool.
I’ve also started to like romcoms. Bad. I mean, really, really lame. It’s like Sex in the City if you’re a bloke, I suppose. And I watched the Transformers film. This is bad news if you’re a girl, which I am.
You’re also right about the popular kids. At least, I hope you are.
By the way, another post that made me laugh out loud and scared the neighbours slightly. But what do they know? They aren’t cool enough to be lame.
December 13th, 2008 at 10:12 am
First, I don’t like being told “You’re Number 2.” I know that has been addressed but now I have received full impact.
Second, seeming more manly by doing unmanly things works better when you look like guy in the Sex in the City shower scene.
Third, I agree with you about not peaking early. I have pushed not peaking early to new heights.
(People automatically think you’re cool when you’re in a band. Ha ha! Little do they know.)
December 13th, 2008 at 10:19 am
*Re-read my comment three times (+1)
*wished I could change the end from “…in this comment. (+1=+7) Okay, 7.” to “…in this comment. (+1) Okay, that makes 7.” (+1)
*Left this comment (+1)
I think I’m done now.
December 13th, 2008 at 10:31 am
Consider me liberated.
I watch spongebob and I don’t have any kids.
I consider being lame as being an individual, somebody who does what they want - ie not being a sheep. They have their own direction and their own trends to follow. Eventually they become the shepherd because everyone else realises what a guru they are.
MA
December 13th, 2008 at 11:01 am
I go to Renn Faires, and I dress for them.
I go to Sci-Fi/Fantasy films. (or at least watch them at home)
When talking to people about what I read I realize that it’s ALL fantasy or crime fiction (sometimes both, I’m talking about you Dresden!)
Did I mention I’m a woman?
I watch all those I love the 80’s, 70’s, 90’s, new millenium things and get pissed about their choices.
Most of my friends are online.
I’m a beer snob.
I was dancing to the Duran Duran top ten videos the other day…with my dog. (and yes, I have issues with the order of the videos)
December 13th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
I don’t think I’ve been more excited for anything, entertainment wise, than I am for the new Star Trek movie.
Feel free to correct my grammar.
December 13th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
I don’t have to paint because I’ve covered my walls in full book cases. I have my D&D notebooks and dice visible from the computer. We have four computers and one laptop. Hubby is a gaming geek and I play WoW.
I’ll leave the house if a bookstore is involved. If not, you can try dragging me, kicking and screaming, to the car (remember to bring the laptop!). We have online friends and precious few RL friends, all gamers and voracious readers.
I dress for comfort, not style, and I wear glasses.
I couldn’t graduate from the 12 step plan for geeks because I refused to stop being one. My kids think I’m cool because I introduced them to my music and movies and they loved them. They have both dedicated Bowling for Soup’s 1985 to me on the radio (the year I graduated).
December 13th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Wow, this is some liberation going on here. If I had a bra, I’d burn it.
[Goes out to buy bra]
December 13th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I created my own language in highschool and I have a sentence written in it tattooed on my arm.
December 13th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Ooh, an early leader appears!
December 13th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
First, I’m totally digging on Chuck, which is probably lame in and of itself. But it likely ups his coolness level (take the +1).
I see your spongebob and raise you Veggietales. Yeah, I was the only non-parent in the theater when Jonah, the first Veggietales movie came out. And I liked it.
I have tried to convince friends that the Donatist controversy of 311 is fascinating.
I have actually said, in relation to my divorce, that what I’d miss most of all was the loss of technology to my ex-husband. We’re still quibbling over ownership of same of the game systems.
My 5 year old just told me that I’m “not that cool.”
December 13th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
I want to watch Johnny burn that bra. And I want a pic of the tattoo. And Alice, the original Veggie Tales ROCKED! We owned them all. I can still sing “where is my hairbrush.”
Chuck is just way too cool (and cute, too).
December 13th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
BJ–we have modified “where is my hairbrush” to be the standard response to anything that is missing. We have been in grocery stores and my offspring has sung, “Oh where are the fruit snacks?” People stared. Good times.
December 13th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Oh, are we getting all competitive in our lameness now?
OK. For lack of friends at school I had invisible ones. They had their own language. Now I’ve grown up, they’re in the books I write - and I have my own imaginary world.
I still feel like they’re a bunch of invisible friends, but I don’t talk to them in front of other people.
December 13th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Early leader? *blushes* But I already ordered my book, so I’ll politely bow out of the running. (:
P.S. enqU sIO UkE.
December 13th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
I cried at the end of the final episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (and lots of others before that too). I think that 3:1 4:2 1:3 2:4 3:1 2:4 1:3 4:2 3:1 4:4 1:3 2:2 3:1 2:2 1:3 4:4 3:1 is a really pretty series of numbers. I spent my entire time at university saying “this reminds me of that episode of Buffy where…”. The following are important to me: 3.142, 3:4:5, 2.718, 1.618, 1:1:2:3:5:8:13…. I will recite the powers of 2 in my head when I’m bored or can’t sleep. I’ll recite them out loud to get people to leave me alone. I see this as competitive. And I want to win.
December 13th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
@James That is so cool. I spent my entire time at university quoting Eddie Izzard.
December 13th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
You want pictures, you get pictures. http://twitpic.com/siqv Kyeli and I have matching tattoos in the language I created, and they say that we love each other. Mine is in her handwriting and hers is in mine.
Geek Love: It’s Worth Optimizing For! (:
December 13th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
This is people learning my language:
http://amnarbb.dannysvoice.com/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=19
They actually want to get together with me and learn Amnari. I can’t decide if they’re lame, or I’m lame, or we’re all lame. Or cool.
I had to teach my podcast producer and presenter to say “Hello” in Amnari. And he does it! Every time!
What’s really lame is that I’m hideously intellectual and academic about this world. It even has a tax system. A TAX SYSTEM.
December 13th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
I like the pics, Pace!
December 13th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Oh, and Pace…I’m lifting your line there….”geek love: it’s worth optimizing for.” Love it.
December 13th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Once my friends Todd and Brian and I got cap guns that looked like real guns and ran around the high school after ours having a “gun fight”. Did I mention that we were attending the high school at the time? Now I am no longer a nerd. Evidence here - http://tinyurl.com/5z69ct
December 13th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
OK - Here is the proof - http://tinyurl.com/5nwxro
December 13th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
And dammit - I wrote ours instead of hours. I suck!
December 13th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
If Andy goes to go Tinyurl (Tiny Earl, my wife calls it), I’ll do the same about me and my college roommate going to see Kenny G: http://tinyurl.com/5tb8j7.
December 13th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
If peeing your pants is cool, then I’m Miles Davis…
December 14th, 2008 at 1:40 am
This reminds me of the line from the movie Almost Famous uttered by Seymour Hoffman as the Lester Bangs character which is ” The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you are uncool.” So thanks for giving us a chance to share some true currency!
My uncool contribution…… My husband and I own all seven seasons of the Buffy The Vampire Slayer DVD’s and we have watched all 7 seasons 6 times!!! And I still cry at the end and we know all the words and sing along with great enthusiasm to the musical episode Once More With Feeling (which is a totally amazing episode if you haven’t seen it yet.)
What a great post!
December 14th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
I own every episode of Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea on VHS and have watched the entire 4 hr series every week for the last *cough* several years.
December 14th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Ok - since everybody is coming clean with TV shows. I recently finished downloading every episode of thirtysomething from youtube - ten minutes at a time. Of course this is more of an old and seemingly-gay confession than it is nerdy.
December 14th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Haha, I don’t know that thirtysomething is terribly lame IMO, and Melissa, I think you’re cool with Anne of Green Gables… if you didn’t watch it EVERY WEEK. Wow.
I’m loving the nerd confessions. Keep them coming!
December 15th, 2008 at 6:17 am
I really miss Thirtysomething. The last half season got kinda weird, but I still think about that show a lot and miss it. Sisters was supposed to replace but, oh well.
I don’t have cable or reception, so we are a TV free family except for our DvDs. (by design but shhh don’t tell).
December 15th, 2008 at 7:32 am
I know most of the words to the soundtrack of The Little Mermaid… /flex
December 15th, 2008 at 7:48 am
Not to be a stickler or anything but actually in the Sex and the City movie, Miranda and Steve were already married. They just chose to stay married.
I guess I’m lame for knowing that.
December 15th, 2008 at 7:53 am
You think you can out-lame me? I actually meant what happened at the end of the series. That final episode was awesome.
[Watches people unsubscribe to RSS by the dozens]
December 15th, 2008 at 9:01 am
I name a lot of my paraphanlia (sp) I have polly pump, charlie CPAP, Sir Percy stair lift (my knight in shining armour) noddy nebuliser, peter picc line. Oh and the car is called harriet.
I know the words to Top Gun and am on my 4th dvd as the other 3 got worn out with over use. ditto with A few good men - well only on 3rd dvd of this one.
MA
December 15th, 2008 at 9:38 am
First off, I think quite a few of us would love to see Johnny burn that bra. GRIN.
51 and don’t think a kid comes close to the zany hairdo wierdness I pull off each Halloween. Four hair spray bottles/two hours/tons of teasing later I’d like to see anyone make their long hair spike up. Idiot me though never took pictures.
December 15th, 2008 at 9:41 am
I think I may be lame in my lameness, but this is the best I can do. I love bad movies. “Raise The Red Lantern,” fell asleep. “Blue Lagoon,” up all night. “Pan’s Labyrinth,” night night times. “Sixteen Blocks,” (with Bruce Willis and Mos Def - what you didn’t see it??), watched the alternate ending. I change it up a little every now and then so my husband doesn’t get too comfortable predicting my behavior, but mostly, if a film is bad, I’m in.
Thanks to Chris for mentioning the Lester Bangs quote from “Almost Famous” (which did not suck and I did watch the whole thing - twice) - even if Crowe was taking some poetic license there, it’s a beautiful quote. Cheers.
December 15th, 2008 at 10:17 am
I’m a lame foodie. Foodie, of course, being lame enough. Other people use their free time to watch TV or play Wii. I make croutons and find ways to save my vegetable drawer before it rots.
Get this: I just cooked down two pumpkins into puree last night that I’ve had sitting on my front porch since Oct 1. Most true gourmets would have done that before Halloween and actually made something delicious out of it. Me, I have no plans for 6 cups of pureed pumpkin that looks suspiciously like baby food.
I’ve also taught literature workshops at sci fi conventions. Yes, that’s right, I’ve talked about the literary attributes of magical realism with Darth Vader, Stargate wraiths, Jack Sparrow and Galadriel.
I have 160 blogs in my feed and today it grows to 161. You’re a funny one. I’m in.
December 15th, 2008 at 10:46 am
Dang, I even suck at being lame. The best I can come up with is that I like to collect odd foodstuffs. I don’t think that’s really lame but writing about it probably is. And being excited that I can order a whole chicken in a can and Japanese Kit Kats and write it off my taxes is really dorky. That whole “tee hee won’t the IRS be surprised at how goofy I am?!” thing is so 10th grade riding the bus to performing arts camp.
Oh, and I secretly consider myself superior to band geeks. No real reason, just a gut feeling I have. That’s lame and snobby.
All of a sudden the substandardness of my person is hitting me.
December 15th, 2008 at 10:54 am
That effin rocked. And since I found this through Twitter, it rocked in the lame-coolest way possible.
December 15th, 2008 at 11:04 am
You can order a whole chicken in a can? Wowsa.
December 15th, 2008 at 11:17 am
Didn’t think I’d have anything to contribute — but then I just quoted Napoleon Dynamite on Twitter. I believe that would qualify as lame (sad to say)…
December 15th, 2008 at 11:20 am
@Alice http://www.amazon.com/SWEET-SUE-WHOLE-CHICKEN-CAN/dp/B0002QEYYK By the case!
Did I just come off as over-eager to share my whole chicken in a can knowledge? That’s pretty lame, right? Am I getting closer to winning?
December 15th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Definitely diggin the humor. Much appreciated on the skewed viewpoint. It’s great to read a mind and can dish the sarcasm in a fun way. Keep it up.
December 15th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
I thought I was lame, therefore, cool — I’m NOT! You’ve all got me beat!
December 15th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
me, lame? i dont know, i cant think of many lame things i’ve done. however, let me list a few exceptionally cool examples from my past…
i named my first pet after my favorite fictional character (roland - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roland_Deschain) and was upset when my wife would not allow me to do the same w/ our first born.
in high school, i wore my hair short on the sides and long in the back, with a little body up front for good measure.
when i was in 9th grade, i had my best friend break up with my girlfriend (now my wife) for me, over the phone, because sometimes personal attention to the details just aren’t warranted.
as i was saying…exceptionally cool, right from the start.
December 15th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
I embrace lameness as a huge asset… my son cracked me up when he “borrowed” a young women of excellence PINK t- shirt and wore it as often as possible while in high school….come to think of it he still does wear it now and he’s nearly 21, 6 ft tall 265 pounds … and a cop so few will mess with him much about his PINK.
So far I have enjoyed what I have read of your blog and am looking forward to reading more… oh yeah I am here as part of Chuck’s project and totally enjoying the project so far! Such diversity and nerdyness its wonderful!
December 15th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Man, you all are pretty damn lame. I’m totally wowed by the coolness that this room is oozing!
December 15th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Lame: I’m 33 yrs old, read Twilight, and went to see the movie…by myself.
Lamer: I enjoy picking my own and other people’s zits and blackheads.
Lamest: My four year old daughter asked if she could hold my saggy butt up for me.
December 15th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
This is a little off topic, but it’s in response to Laura’s comment about the pink t-shirt.
At orientation weekend for college the summer after graduating high school, I realized once I got there that I hadn’t packed a shirt for the second day somehow.
So, I went to the campus bookstore when I got the chance and looked through all the cool t-shirts that displayed my impending collegiate status in various ways. I settled on a simple gray shirt with the name of the school across the front and some nice shading in the background.
The next morning, I showered and got dressed, putting on my cool new shirt. I went down to brush my teeth in the bathroom and that’s when I noticed.
Only in the reflection of the mirror when all the other letters became gibberish did my brain finally register that the “nice shading in the background” was actually the letters, “M-O-M.” I was wearing a “University of Georgia Mom” shirt.
In hindsight, it’s really funny to me, the fact that I can’t remember what I did from there says it was probably traumatic at the time.
December 15th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Can I talk about how lame-cool my SO is instead? Or better yet, how she has influenced me to be more than my normal lame-cool self?
-This weekend we watched hours of SpongeBob
-I get geeked about learning how to build websites (and she sits in B&N and reads dreamweaver manuals)
-In a strategic IT class, I was asked to explain Twitter. And my classmates made comments about how they’d rather meet real people. And I said that twitter is real people (but for introverts)
-My IT professor calls me the social media queen, and I like it.
-People walk into my house and exclaim over the number of books that I haul from one apt to the next.
-I’ve read 98% of the books in my apartment
-When I talk about moving cross-country, my mattress can stay her, but my books come with me.
-I have read and commented on like 5 of your blog posts. In the past hour!
-My name plate at work reads Monica Evans Queen, Ruler of the World.
OK, I think I’m done now
December 15th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
@ BEtty Duffy: I love popping zits but my SO won’t let me pop hers even when I beg her to. She says its gross.
And I’m so good at it. I pop zits and don’t leave any scarring.
December 15th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
…here form the Chucks blog project, how lame is that? I’ll stick around, cuz I have a feeling you will help me understand my 11yo sons references to LOLcat… maybe.
December 15th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
I am so lame that I do not know how to Digg it, Stumble on it, or know if I am supposed to refer to the message board from whence I came. I am confuzed, I have a stomach flu, I am missing the point of this entire exercise and not ashamed to admit it. Plus, I am literally lame, I have a Hammy Tendonitis and a gash/bone bruise/swelling from a trauma to the same leg.
So, I am lame, literally and figuirativly. and I am too ill to spell check. Lame. Do I win yet ?
December 15th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
ok. here’s my lameness for the day. i have a very narrow driveway, and everytime I back out of it, I worry about hitting the stucco-covered concrete stairs leading to the side entrance of the house. The previous owners hit it, took a chunk of stucco off. They also hit the tree at the end of the driveway, more or less killing it. So, it’s bound to happen. Eventually, I’m going to run into the house while backing out of the driveway. So, I’m thinking of running into on purpose so I can just go ahead and get it over with. See how lame I am? And this idea - so brilliant - it makes me cool. Huh?
December 15th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
I nominate this guy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk5_OSsawz4
December 15th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Wow, some really lame people. Strong contenders for the prize of LAMEST STORY! I have a feeling that whoever wins the free book will really have earned it.
I predict this post will have 100 lame responses for me to sort through by the end of the week. Wow.
December 15th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Oh, and
@Betty Duffy - I’ve seen that before, and I nominate my old college roommates for geeking out about how great it was, and forcing those of us who hadn’t seen it to watch THE WHOLE DAMN THING even though the point was made in 15 seconds.
December 15th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
I watch Doctor Who. A lot.
December 15th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Jenx67, that’s too funny! Borrow someone else’s car and do it, lol.
I love the lameness here. Nerds, geeks, and plain old fringe. My kind of people! No one at my day job would ever expect it of me. I’m so straight laced and quiet outside the house. Then again, life is inside the house…at the computer…talking to all of you people. Um…did I just hit another level of lameness?
Well, Johnny…time to ante up. We need a video of a bra burning posted here by the end of the week, m’kay?
LOL.
December 15th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Where do I start? My lameness knows no bounds.
I love reality shows. The cheesier the better. I would rather stay home and watch those than go out at night.
That’s all I can admit right now.
I feel so much better! Thanks!
December 15th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
I read (and reread) The Harry Potter series because it’s a fantastic piece of literature, not because I’m lame. Lame, however, is my excuse for reading a lot of young adult literature. I used to read it because I taught 6th grade for several years. I must know what the kids are reading, right? But now I teach 4th grade, and my excuse sounds more like this: “I’m on the library’s committee for dealing with challenged literature. I’d better read The Golden Compass so I’ll know what I’m talking about if a parent decides to challenge the series.”
Works for me.
December 15th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
I thought I was lame until I started reading the comments. I have no idea what a romcom is. Or a Renn Faire. Or a Veggietale. So I got all depressed at my lack of lame-ness. BUT then James/Dancing Geek cheered me right up (he’s good at that). I didn’t cry during the very last episode ever of Buffy. I bawled. Sobbed my little heart out. Whew!
December 15th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
@Daisy - I think a better question is, Is there a chance that some parent WON’T challenge the His Dark Materials books? I thought those were FANTASTIC, and not at all lame. But I also found myself cringing at what really religious people would think when reading it. Yow.
December 15th, 2008 at 11:31 pm
Double trump your lameness.The following quote is from what 90’s movie “Could you turn that up? Please? You won’t be sorry. …” the knack My Sharona is playing in the background. Be sure to search for the answer while scarfing down pork skins & beer.
December 16th, 2008 at 11:08 am
I married into lameness and consider myself now lame. I know who Alex Ross is. I know that Wolverine’s skeleton is made of adamantium. Gwen Stacy was Spiderman’s first true love (and we may have to name our unborn daughter that). Ditto for Ben Reilly or Peter Parker.
And, I love anything Frank Miller has ever touched.
December 16th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
I took the DVDs of Season 1 of Battlestar Galactica to trivia night at a bar to loan (…force on) a buddy. And then I referred to it as BSG. And then one of the guys I play trivia with accused me of being the Dwight Schrute of our trivia team. Dissed by a nerd! It was the lamecooliest.
December 16th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Oh man, Battlestar Galactica is one of the best shows on TV. As one of my friends says, the only thing keeping it down is the fact that it’s called “Battlestar Galactica.”
December 17th, 2008 at 3:40 am
On my last trip to Barnes and Noble, I took my rubik’s cube and an 80’s how-to-solve a rubik’s cube book with me. Random strangers stopped to give me advice.
I put ivory soap in my microwave to watch it get real big and foamy, and then blogged about it.
I love Little House on the Prairie reruns.
Sometimes I listen to Christmas music in the summer, just because I like it.
I think Amy Grant music from the 80’s is cool. And I read all of the His Dark Materials books to my boys, one of whom owns a “tough guys wear pink” shirt. He plans to wear it to relatives house for Christmas.
When none of my kids wanted to read the Twilight books with me, I read them myself. And in some places, I cried.
December 17th, 2008 at 7:40 am
Oh yeah, I can totally solve a Rubik’s Cube too.
And at one time, I had memorized the entirety of “The Raven.” And that is a really long poem.
THREE DAYS LEFT! I’LL DECIDE THE WINNER OF THE NERD-OFF ON SATURDAY!
December 18th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
[...] 9th grade (the initiation of which was highlighted as proof positive of my lameness in a comment on Johnny B Truant’s recent post), we’ve been together ever since. I get the dependable ‘ohhh, how cute’ every [...]
December 21st, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Memorized the first Devo album and it still haunts me. Played 13+ hour D&D marathons and learned to read & write the Elvin language. Wore a top hat/kimono combo to 9th grade, plus amassed an impressive penguin collection in reverence to Fleetwood Mac. Did yearbook, drama & ballet. Would tear up t-shirts and saftey pin them back together in a desperate attempt to be more PUNK while we pogo’ed at the Whisky-a-go-go circa 1978. Dedicated a year of my life to dressing up & attending Rocky Horror Picture Show and have seen it well over 300 times (performed as Columbia in the Review). Addicted to Twin Peaks. Became devout JR Bob Dobbs worshipper through Church of the Subgenius. Shameless bibliophile who reads 3 books at a time (BTW Geek Love is one of my all time favorite books). Do the costumed Renn Faire thing. Moderate 3 or 4 Yahoo groups. I design websites (and other stuff) for a living. Don’t feel complete unless I read all Twitter posts at the end of the day.
December 21st, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Okay, I’m sorry I didn’t include this the first time, I swore I’d never tell anyone this, but it’s been a burden I’ve shouldered privately for too long. It is time.
I once tried desperately to get through to KOST 103.5 (CA) radio station to make a dedication to my then-girlfiend (now wife). Literally dialed hundreds of times. I failed, never got through.
There, I’ve made my peace with it. Thank you JohnnyB, you have exorcised the demon!
December 21st, 2008 at 2:13 pm
**Pushes through the crowd of geeks**
Ok.
1. I have Rick Springfield CDs. In my car. RIGHT NOW.
2. I have seen Tiffany, Weird Al Yankovich, Slayer, and The Monkees all in concert. (No, Not at the same time, though that would be awesome).
3. I watch cspan for fun.
4. I own all of Quantum Leap & 21 Jump Street on DVD.
5. I think Neil Patrick Harris’s ode to Doogie Howser on last week’s HIMYM was the most AWESOME thing on TV since, well since Doogie Howser.
6. I like the Wiggles.
7. I am 31 and still wear shoes with skulls & crossbones.
8. I actually buy textbooks to read sometimes. For fun.
9. I actually collect first edition hard cover books. For fun.
10. Disneyland is my favorite place in the whole world.
11. English was my favorite class in school. So much so that my teacher would make up extra assignments for me to do. And I did them.
12. I read this blog.
Yea baby. Geek that.
December 21st, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Rick Springfield! Rocky Horror Picture Show! Book Addiction, Quantum Leap, Star Wars, LOVED 21 JUMP STREET, Weird Al.
Dr. Demento, ThirtySomething, interesting fashion histories (including pictorial evidence of hair weirdness), totally understanding that online people are real people, introverts, tech gadget fanatics, moive freaks, social media queens, Getting a 24 foot U’haul for the books and leaving the furniture, Veggie Tale quoters…
OH MY GOODNESS I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!!! you make me feel *sob* normal and amongst my own kind!
December 21st, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Okay, I don’t want y’all to think I forgot. The winners were James the Dancing Geek and Joely “Charm Quark,” but they totally fucked me up because both those bastards are in England and that more than doubles the cost of my prize over this dumb post. So James is going to settle for bragging rights, but I’m offering a compromise to Joely and haven’t heard back from her yet. If she doesn’t want the book under my shitty compromise, I’ll keep going until I find a US winner.
Really, this just proves that English people are lamer than those of us in the US. And I haven’t forgotten my buddy Ed who had me order and internationally reship PINK SHOES to him.
December 22nd, 2008 at 8:01 am
Woo! I’m rarely that bothered about which country people are from, but right now I feel proud to be a lame-cool Brit!
Nerds FTW! *raises imaginary trophy*
March 9th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
[...] like nerds (two on this one: here and here). Or perhaps more accurately, you like being nerds, and you like being able to dish with fellow [...]